heartlove: January 2012

#421

i need a break. penang perhaps?

please.

#420

headache. belakang kepala. somewhat dizzy.
and hurts when turn around or head moves.
agh.

#419

Love possesses not, nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.

- Khalil Gibran

a quote from Baci chocolate wrapper. fave. suka sebab wrapper dia ada quotes. and the choc itself is delish!

lunch for today:
1 Daim, 1 Ferrero, 1 Hershey's nugget, and 1 Baci.

sorry paman. got nothing to eat. oat bars doesn't sound yummy. hehe.

n now i am hungry. T_T

#418

lost wallet. found in washing machine.

lost me? God knows where.

i hope you won't. coz, i barely remember my own name.

#417

breath in. breath out.

and all i want is u.

funny. used to be blink once. blink twice.
haha.

#416

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

- John Barrymore

Not a door you purposely open for others to come in.

- aisyah abdullah

#415

don't have heart at all.

dah hilang kot?

#414

wahai si hati rebel,
don't you have anything to say?

does it even matter? nobody going to listen anyway.
i have much better way to deal with it.
hati bukan takat rebel. kebal sudah.

batu.

#410

"kenapa tak bawak tunang jugak?"

hmmmmmm

#409

jadi selfish boleh?

penat.
hati sendiri tak terjaga.

put others before yourself.
what? apa tu?

kalau semua fikir macam tu xpe jgk.
damn.

#408

can i just leave everything here?
pack my bag, some money and just disappear?

ugh!

#407

paman. take me away.

trying not to be selfish.
how?
i can't do this.

T_T

STRESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dah kitorang cakap taknak, taknak lah!
kenapa susah nak faham?
loan. need to pay back.
have better things to do than to satisfy all of u.
please....................

I is sad.
;(

#405

raksaksa hati. hati burst.
2 hours, mana cukup.

sabar ok?

#404

yes. error 404. page not found.

serabut. celaru. confused. sakit. pedih. bimbang. paranoid. suka fikir bukan2 yang buruk2. yeah. saat ini. detik ini. itu yang aku rasa. macam duduk hadap tembok besar. kiri kanan depan belakang. tak ada satu ruang pun yang beri aku lalu.

salah aku. slap yourself, dear self. oh, and hold your tears. nobody want to see that, si lembik. you make who you are for people to see. apa yang aku ada? nada. zero. itu words from a loser. no. don't be one. everyone else wanna see the winner you. be strong. fight for you. yourself. no one else will.

one moment you feel like everything is trapping you. when the other time you can see your future as clear as the sky. you know where you goes even in 5 years time from now. dari awal cerita yang aku mahu hingga akhir cerita, juga seperti aku mahu. cerita aku bukan? cerita si degil.

on another story. few days ago, ada kawan gila2, bunga2 mahu ajak aku kahwin. gila kau? yes. his dad just passed away. that question was so random. entah aku org yg keberapa dalam friend list dia yang dia dah bunga2. funny but at the same time, it's sympathy. how depression can make you do silly things. chill bro. the more you look for it, the farther it go away. kan paman?

cemburu. lihat momen2 happy kamu dulu. yes. momen2 happy kamu dalam lappy.
bukan kamu yang past. kamu yang present. kamu yang present dengan momen2 yang past. aku mahu lihat senyum kamu yang dulu bila sama aku. untuk masa ini, future dan selamanya.

yes. i am that selfish. si degil yang tamak.

*serius rasa mahu nangis.

ok. move on. past is past. senyum, hidup yang masa ini ada aku, kamu. itu cukup bukan?
kita sama usaha jadi yang lebih baik dari past. untuk kita juga.

craps. merepek due to tidur yang diganggu. agh!

#403

I’m selfish.

I’d only want those who want me more

&

Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t.

-bilabintangbicara

#402

a very precious sleep just been kacau-ed.

thanx akak domestic helper.

#401

today is 27. so, i'm a month older. old? i guess.

heh. tahun ni ramai member yang akan kawen. ape tu?
kita start dgn fatma, ain, luqman, fani, pokpa, abe long muhaimin, puloh, n the list never stop.
asmah, mai, n a few more dah tunang.
i saw monehh flying. hahaha.

so, paman. when is our turn ah?

mengada. padahal....

#400

yes. i envy you.
coz, i don't have stories to tell. i cant be your storyteller.

so, will you let me be your listener?
i'll be a good one.
i promise... ;)

#399

gimme back my coolness!!!

why is it disappear? where did it go?

#398

i just can't wait!

;)

#397

i felt so mellow right now. can't smile. remembering things i shouldn't remember. looking at things i shouldn't peek. imagining things that could never be happen. wondering how if that and that didn't occurred. agh! i shouldn't right?
so.
paman, i miss you. a lot. although we met almost everyday. still, i freaking miss you. this is new. the feeling i had for you is unexplained (it crossed my mind, u ada guna2. but, neah. u didn't right?). i played hard to get when the fact is i am really simple n easy (with a lil cover up here n there. not to worry though).

looking straight up ahead. and without glancing back at past.
yeah.

#396

apa agaknya perasaan bila pergi wedding ex?
hmmmm..

wondering.

#395

i want to be the only passenger on your boat, paman.

#394

i am stubborn.
tapi, kalau tak degil, takdelah sy dapat study remote sensing, jejak sabah, lepas tu dapat masalah negara.
but, it's fun. learning process to be a human. a better human.

and now,
we both are stubborn.
tapi, kalau tak degil, tak dapat la backpacking to europe kan paman?

#393

kadang kita rasa everyone around us are supporting us.
the fact is they only hold you with the topeng.

#392

hey, isn't that girl u used to hang out with?
wow, she's a model now.
don't u wanna be one?

i'm still the kampung girl. no regret, huh?

#391

lawak pagi hari. macam tau2 je aku suka X6. hahaha.

#390

one glance and you know the rest.

look at it and don't turn away.

#389

deeper than that.

#388

eh? tengok lagi? sudah lah. takde apa yang fun kat sini.
penuh sarcasm saje.
tapi, kalau mahu lihat future yang indah2, silakan...

;)

#387

tensi! susahnya nak buat color balance image.
'orang' yang pernah ajar dulu adalah 'orang' yang sangat tidak ingin jumpa lagi.

agh!

#386

2 days left. T_T

#385

loves!

#384

we have a secret.
(err, maybe more than one?)

neah. whatever.
friday the thirteenth.
yes.

;)

#383

i want this.. but, no monehh for shopping.

T_T

#382

kalau nak sihat, mesti makan makanan yang sihat. no junk food, no fats, no too much caffeine.
breakfast roti. lunch salad. snack makan fruits. dinner tak perlu amik. kan paman? ;)
makan untuk sihat. bukan untuk kurus.

konon la. breakfast tadi makan granola bar quaker oat. 1 jam lepas tu perut dah bunyi2. hahaha.

#381

first time makan sate minang. quite good.

n paman, y u give me fats?

T_T

oh, gambar ihsan gugle

#381

dah 3 hari. isk2.

#380

i would like to have spend an evening here..one day..

#379

she's a beauty.

#378

feels like jumping higher than i thought i can.

can't wait.

;)

#377

stresssss!!!

tipikal mind x habis2. have to convince every other people why i should do that. payah!

n need to get new spec this very evening. buat kerja macam blur2. i need monehh!
sape2 yg ada hutang dgn saya sila jelaskan sebelum counter tutup. sorang tu dah janji nak bayar lepas bonus bulan3. hopefully betul la kan.

#376

you know that you sayangg someone if you cried becoz of him.
and you cried becoz you no longer can hold getting mad at him. it's the least or worst you can do.

and yes, your middle name is emo.

#375

tensi. piktur2 byk x jadi. n boleh tak dia salah bg scanned film?
entah gambar sape2 dia bagi. dah lah kedai jauh. agh!

#374

tak susah bukan?

ok. now we have our own way to success.
wish us luck!

trust. n don't wander2. xde sebab n pekdah pun der..

#373

super duper serabut!
tipikal vs. don't mind.
memang payah nak decide la.

please la faham.....

#372

passed a minor stage. haha. gila awkward.
nasib baik still ada issue nak borak.hehe.

p/s: i do want white actually.

#371

had a weird time last night. spec went down straight into the toilet while wudhu'. hahaha.
now pakai mata silicone ni sangat tidak selesa. ;(

and a very weird dream last night. tak boleh digest kenapa mereka perlu ada dalam mimpi. aku siap bagi warning "don't touch what's mine!" hahahaha

n now sangat nervous atas sebab2 tertentu. help!